Ho ho ho, merry Go! Team and Alter Ego.

Hello Christmas wh0res. I for one hope you are well and in the festive spirit. In the name of the season, take these musical wonders and hold them to your heart - like a mother to a baby.

Go! Team - Junior Kickstart

You're going to hear a barrel load about this lot in 2005. Go! Team are a instrumental six peice from London. Much like Junior Senior before them, Go! Team make dance/party music but insist on live instrumentation. You think you're listening to some FatBoy Van Hendlen sampled mush? Well you're a stupid fool. Some cockney little shit has slaved for ages to make sure he can drum at 200 bpm - just for you to doubt him. You should kill yourself.

(Unlike Junior Senior, though, Go! Team have more than one song and a catchy video. Natch.)

But really, unlike those haggered out of date dance/party outfits who are kind of amusing but are in many ways utterly underwhelming - who listens to their FatBoy CDs anymore? - Go! Team are throughly good fun. Not only is every note (bar a few) live, but they a insatisable 80s action TV show aesethtic. The Go! Team's debut 'Thunder Lightning Strike' conjours up Miami-5-O + A-Team esque desires to run around the house with a water pistol pretending to arrest your family for drug smuggling. Each track is hopelessly and utterly upbeat, very very well referenced, and completly danceable - even on a solo basis.

But remember. Keep safe - always use cold water when dealing with felons with your surname. Those crazy bastards.

Alter Ego - Rocker

Viewers of Television (and I know there's lots of you out there!) will understand their frustration when one will experience a work of musical greatness during a short adbreak or promotional item. The recent Radio 1 ads on the Beeb have lesser educated fools guessing as to their aural content.

Well, guess not. Alter Ego is taken from the Radio 1 ad where ppl are dancing and playing with window blinds. You remember that one? Yeah, classic it was. Its a nice little retro electro number that reminds me a lot of Mr Ozio (was that how u spelt it?) - lots of subbass and funny noises leading to a euphoric cresendo. It probably sums up the kind of 'computer' music that I like really - basic instrumentation combined with beeping noises that remind you of your little 8-bit computer as it failed to load Dizzy Panic (the little egg shit). Probably completly unplayable in a club due to its constant stops and starts.

As for the band, I don't know a thing about them. They were in an advert!