Yesterday, Matthew, I was a Factory completist

Half Man Half Biscuit - Tonight Matthew I'm Going To Be With Jesus

Attention Americans, you've probably never heard of this band, but that's OK, I forgive you. Half Man Half Biscuit are a twisted genius called Nigel from Merseyside, near Liverpool. Almost as famous for their song titles as their songs themselves, the tunes are littered with references to English popular culture, so you probably wouldn't understand even if you wanted to (I'm joking of course!). John Peel (god rest his soul) was a huge fan of The Biscuit and it's easy to see why.

Half Man Half Biscuit - Bob Wilson Anchorman



Who else could write a track about the poor quality of sports anchormen, a subject close to my heart...

Glossary:

Bob Wilson - Former Arsenal goalkeeper, later became a sports presenter on ITV with mixed results and much to the chagrin of HMHB. Also coached England keeper David 'I've got a slug on my top lip' Seaman.
Jim Rosenthal - Fellow ITV sports presenter, career perhaps hampered by Bob Wilson, obviously nurses a grudge. Strongly resembles a gargoyle.
Matthew - Stars in Their Eyes host Matthew Kelly.
Factory - Mancunian Record label ran by Tony Wilson featured Joy Division/New Order and Happy Mondays.

Other Half Man Half Biscuit songs for your future consideration:

Paintball's Coming Home, Twenty Four Hour Garage People, Deep House Victims' Minibus Appeal, Hair Like Brian May Blues, Tending The Wrong Grave For 23 Years, See That My Bike's Kept Clean, The Light At The End Of The Tunnel (Is The Light Of An Oncoming Train), 27 Yards Of Dental Floss, Paradise Lost (You're The Reason Why), Ballad Of Climie Fisher, With Goth On Our Side, Used To Be In Evil Gazebo, It's Clichéd To Be Cynical At Christmas, Look Dad No Tunes, Keeping Two Chevrons Apart, Dead Men Don't Need Season Tickets, Sponsoring The Moshpits, Turned Up Clocked On Laid Off, Improv Workshop Mimeshow Gobshite, 13 Eurogoths Floating In The Dead Sea, Yipps (My Baby Got The), Everything's AOR, On Finding The Studio Banjo, Blood On The Quad, He Who Would Valium Take, Lock Up Your Mountain Bikes, 99% Of Gargoyles Look Like Bob Todd, The Trumpton Riots, All I Want For Christmas Is A Dukla Prague Away Kit, I hate Nerys Hughes, Rod Hull is alive: Why?